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A trip straight from hell.

David Gauntlett

Senior Member
Had an afternoon into nighter on The Colne yesterday with Conrad Farlow, that man on a mission to catch a barbel from 50 different British rivers. This trip was an attempt to make it river number 41 so far, would you believe :eek: Sadly, I must have upset some fairly powerful barbel gods,'cos despite being in a good swim, poor Conrad had to be content with crays and chub, from a river that had dropped a lot and lost most of it's pace and colour in the five days since my successful trip on Monday:(

However, I can proudly say that I put on a pretty decent comedy show to cheer the young chap up, so I hope it wasn't all bad for him. The show was staged in my swim, which was basically just somewhere I had plopped myself down within easy hailing distance of Conrad, as I waited for the inevitable roar of success from that quarter. Now, bare in mind that I had not had so much as a chub knock since we arrived much earlier, in the beautiful sunshine....just an endless succession of crays (which I managed to leave with an even worse head ache than the one I had) :p

Anyway,the curtain went up at 11.30pm, when completely without a warning of any kind, my rod launched itself from my two rests like a javelin...I swear it would have done Jessica Ennis proud. It landed seven or eight feet out in the river, and proceeded to head off downstream and under the tree I had been fishing to, doing a fair impersonation of a speedboat as it went. The show continued with some memorable moves on my part, mainly the bit where I fell (quite stylishly I thought) from my seat as I lunged frantically for my extended landing net pole, obviously in the hope of using that to reach my rod before it completely disappeared.

The really class bit came when my tucked side roll with pike bought me within reach of my handle, which I grabbed and swept overhead in a stunning parabolic curve....which SHOULD have put the net effectively in the area to achieve the intended rescue. Sadly, during it's numerous hours of zero motion, my net had obviously got bored and decided to make friends with a particularly large bramble. Then end result was a crack loud enough for Conrad to hear...and my net and handle ending up in two distinctly different areas. Scores on the doors? one rod, one reel and one landing net down so far.

After A great deal of searching with my head torch, and probing and branch moving with my broken pole, I gave up on the lost rod, and decided setting up my second rod (despite having no landing net) had to be better than sitting twiddling my thumbs while I awaited Conrads victory roar, after which we could go home. So, I got my second rod out of my sling, and slotted the two sections together. It was then I noticed that one of the rings was performing a rather novel movement...up and down on the line, quite independently of the blank. One of the rather delicate looking singled legged rings had proved that looks CAN be everything, and snapped off flush with the rod.

It was around about that time that I had to choose between the two options that I saw open to me....packing away what was left of my gear...or suicide. Sadly for some, I chose the option of packing away (it was close though) and sat behind Conrad, until eventually we gave up and toddled off defeated.

Scores on the doors now? I broken rod, one lost rod, one lost reel, one broken landing net....fish nil.

Just to adjust the scores a little, I went back to the swim this morning, clutching chesties and a stout pole, and found the rod and reel where I had hoped it might be...lodged firmly in the hairy red branches that seem to lay on or just under the waterline of most old, overhanging trees. The fish (I suspect a large carp) was long gone, and as it was a barbless hook, no doubt so has that. I suppose SOMETHING had to go right...now I just need to find someone who can professionally swap the delicate single leg rings I have (which had bothered me since I started using the rods) for some decent standard type versions.

I can sort my landing net :D

I feel rather unwell. Is golf easier? Or do senile old fools struggel with that as well :eek:

Cheers, Dave.
 
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Brilliant Dave - i'm sure it wasn't that enjoyable at the time but makes for a very entertaining read! Poor Conrad - he does pick his ghillies well! I joined him on the Ribble last season and confidently informed him to leave the brolly at home as it was a long walk and we wouldn't need it - it lashed it down all day! :eek: Worse still - i put him in what was supposedly the banker swim, dropped in on a peg i'd never fished before and promptly had 3 one after the other while his rods sat motionless - very embarrassing - but all went well in the end, even if we did get a tad wet. :)
 
Cracking read Dave!

It must be the Conrad influence, I went fishing with him last year and ended up waist deep in the river Ure minus waders.
 
Great story Dave. And just so you know, the full episode of your night was on the Trent riverbank by Saturday!!!! I didn't laugh. Honest...;):D
 
Great story Dave. And just so you know, the full episode of your night was on the Trent riverbank by Saturday!!!! I didn't laugh. Honest...;):D

I always wanted to be famous Graham, although the version I always dreamt about involved guitars and screaming girls, with Kylie as a panting groupie. Still....beggars can't be choosers :D:p:D

Cheers, Dave.
 
Top stuff Dave, so its not just me who can have an "adventure" or two while out on the river banks LOL

If you are looking to sort out your rod rings then either drop Bob Gill a line or pay a trip over to Yateley Angling, i am sure either can sort out your ring ooeeerrrr LOL

i was going to tap you up for a session on the mighty Colne but.................
 
David,
Treat it as a good excuse to buy some new rods :D:D

While your at the tackle shop,invest in a decent baitrunner:D:D:D:D

David quote:I feel rather unwell. Is golf easier? Or do senile old fools struggel with that as well

Cheers, Dave.

Dont do it,Golf is a waste of a good walk,and as a fellow senile old fool,
whatever you do you are handicapped,i was metal detecting a few months back,and passed out in a field,woke up to a club member slapping my face.
(doc says im a silly old bugger for never having breakfast)

On my last fishing trip,tackled up to find,left all my bait at home.:mad:

Im no longer safe to be let out alone:D:D:D
 
Must be something about that Farlow chap fished on the Bristol Avon with him last week. First chub I caught broke my landing net handle! The boys a jinx...
 
Howard said "On my last fishing trip,tackled up to find,left all my bait at home."

Howard, I kid you not....I once arrived at the car park of a fishery to discover I had left my rods at home...and that was when I was a young man :p

Mind you, the way I am treating them at the moment, that may not be a bad idea. It probably wouldn't affect my catch rate too much either :D

Cheers, Dave.
 
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A most enjoyable read, Dave. We've all had bad hair days. I've managed to leave my rods at home, that's when I was seeing a bit of totty on the side and hence excusable. Worst situation, leaving my rods against a fence post and then merrily driving home. Luckily, recovered thanks to a good Samaritan. I suspect that the brightest buttons on here have a story of forgetfulness to tell.
 
This is a most interesting account of a fishing session. Incidentally, I am not the author, but may be able to provide more of these tales if there is sufficient interest. Move over Dave and Keith, this is the real McCoy.

Hi Folks,



By mistake Dixie and I figured out how to catch some really nice largemouth bass in this oppressive heat. Accident? Yes. Nice fish? You bettcha"!



My buddy Bill Cissell is a primo crappie fisherman. The other day he shared one of his secret spots with me. Not sure why, but I think it had to do with me working all the time and not getting enough time on the water as of late. OK, I admit to not getting out too much lately, but part of the reason has been this really hot summer we've been having. I just don't like setting in a boat with no air moving and temperatures hovering at 100 degrees or more. That just isn't much fun.


So Bill comes in the store and starts showing off pictures of slab crappie he and the local DNR guy caught recently. Now it doesn't get much better than having a DNR guy as a friend. Let's face it, these guys know where the fish are. I mean, that's their job. Add to that Bill is probably one of the best crappie fisherman in Southern Indiana and you've got one deadly duo for scoring a great mess of fish. And Dixie and I love crappie on the dinner table.


Bill's coaxing worked and we went crappie fishing later that week. The Lund was ready. Gas topped off, boat cleaned, gear on board, keys in my pocket (I have several stories where this wasn't the case (!), trailer checked out. All we needed was some crappie minnows from our local bait shop and we had all the tools for some serious crappie fishing.


We stopped by the bait shop and bought bait. The owner cast a doubtful look at us and said "good luck". He volunteered that crappie had been tough lately. Maybe he wanted to assure us that if we didn't do well it wouldn't be due to his minnows. I just smiled. I had Bill's secret spot, pictures that confirmed his success, and confidence that Dixie and I would prevail. Optimism is really a key to fishing success and this day we were loaded for bear!


I backed the boat down the ramp on the local DNR lake that Bill had told us about and got in. Dixie pulled the trailer forward as I eased the boat off. Soon after parking the truck she was aboard and we were on our way. Bill's "secret spot" was fairly easy to find and in no time we were scoring crappie, although the size wasn't anything close to those pictures he had shown me. We were at the spot, but not "on" the spot if you know what I mean. I worked the trolling motor and we eased up within dropping distance to where Bill suggest the big ones were. Just as we were ready to drop the wind kicked up and poof, we were back away from where we wanted to be. Soon the sun disappeared and the wind increased even more.


Now it was getting tough just to get close to the spot. The trolling motor would put us up there and just as quick the wind would blow us back. Frustrating. I worked the boat up and got pushed back probably 8 or 10 times. Just couldn't get it set. Even anchoring was difficult. We didn't want to spook these elusive crappie, who tend to be really spooky in warmer weather. The wind was blowing out from shore, so if we dropped anchor where we needed to that would most likely be right on top of the fish and that would be the end of any chance we had to bring any slabs into the boat.
Well, we fought this for maybe 30 minutes or so. Now I'm not known for patience around wind. It really gets under my skin. Dixie could tell I was getting increasingly frustrated and on about the umpteenth attempt suggest maybe we should do some casting with ultra light outfits and the smallest Rapala Rattling Raps to try and locate crappie who were on the windward side of the lake. This would allow us to play the anchor line out and get right on a spot. Good idea.


We started working the windward side of the lake, casting these little Rapala's toward shore, doing our best to land them at the edges of some substantial weeds and slimy moss that always appears during hot weather in summer. We worked a rocky shoreline, a mud shoreline, and some timbered shoreline. No crappie. We kept moving along the shoreline and about this time I spotted a "hole" in the slime/weeds and tossed my little Rapala right in the center of that hole.


****! I caught some weeds as I began my retrieve. But wait. Those weeds started shaking. And making a run. Away from us! "I think I got a fish", I shouted to Dixie.


The more I reeled in the more the strain on the 6 lb fluoro line became. Then I saw him. This was not a nice crappie, this was a B-I-G largemouth. I'm talking a really big largemouth. Especially for this part of Southern Indiana. I shouted to Dixie to get the net. He made another run and I adjusted the drag. Slowly we got him alongside the boat and Dixie, bless her heart, scooped him up.


Folks, this was a nice bass! About 23-24" and maybe 7 lbs. Very, very nice. And in the middle of summer when bass are supposedly suspended in deeper water. With an itsy bitsy lure. In hot, shallow water about 1-2 feet from water's edge. Better yet, as we continued to work the shoreline we hooked up with another nice bass close to shore. This one went about 5 lbs. All within 20 minutes, all right at shoreline, all in 90+ degree weather.


We never really connected with any "table size" crappie, but for a day on the water this would have been hard to beat. Two really nice bass. Not near as hot as we had seen in days past. No boat problems. No one else on the lake all day. And my wife of 46 years at my side. Not bad!
This particular day was still hot and ended up being windy and cloudy with some scattered showers moving in and out periodically. Fishing had been slow according to most customers other than Bill (and he was only fishing crappie). The lakes were hot. The water tepid. The weeds substantial. And yet here we were with two absolutely beautiful bass. Go figure.


I guess the point of this story would be never assume that conventional wisdom, conventional tactics, conventional techniques are the do all be all. Some of the nicest fish Dixie and I have ever caught have come from what most folks would call weird fishing. Fishing lures, baits, locations where they're not supposed to be. Doing stuff that "conventional wisdom" says should never produce the species of fish we end up catching. Certainly not "nice" fish. Yet we have had great luck trying odd techniques or methods that "conventional wisdom" says just won't work given the species, conditions, etc.



Tight Lines,
 
Very enjoyable Jim :D Mind you, I thought for a moment at the start there you had discovered some rather harsh accounts of my fishing prowess , when I read 'Primo crappie fisherman'...:p

Nice one mate. What the hell is a crappie?

Cheers, Dave.
 
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Very enjoyable Jim :D Mind you, I thought for a moment at the start there you had discovered some rather harsh accounts of my fishing prowess , when I read 'Primo crappie fisherman'...:p

Nice one mate. What the hell is a crappie?

Cheers, Dave.

Well Dave, you know the Yanks, always talking out of their .... It never ceases to amaze me the names that the Yanks have for fish, wide mouthed bass, yellow gilled this, deep throat that etc.etc. This most interesting account came from the American Legacy Website. Tom Ashby always posts an excellent tale as a foreward to selling kit. They do have some cracking tackle and their postal rates are very good. As for the crappie, there are some photos on the ALW website, alternatively, I've heard that some fine examples have been taken on some of the UK's beaches.
 
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